


Forever and Always

by Min_ShadowLord



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra-centric (She-Ra), Childhood Memories, F/F, I'm tired, Idiots in Love, Memories, Parallels, Reflection, Self-Reflection, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Min_ShadowLord/pseuds/Min_ShadowLord
Summary: It was like a secret language between the two of them sometimes. One that the two of them didn’t need to think about to translate. It was like an intricate dance, easily maneuvering around each other. Together, they avoided the connotations that the things they said meant, and came together in a mutual understanding nobody else would understand. At least, for Catra, it was like that. Adora had always had the natural ability to say whatever was on her mind without fail. And yet… She still understood her, like she was meant to. Like she was the only person in the world who could.When she got in a fight, Adora was the only one who could understand why. The only one who could talk to her. The only one who could get her side of the story without being met with a scratch (and even then, it was only a fifty-fifty chance). Adora had always understood what she meant, even if it was the total opposite. And though the blonde could always say what was on her mind, she could still talk to Catra and get through to her.“Go away.”So, maybe that was why the blonde only heard, "Stay."
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 35





	Forever and Always

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the WONDERFUL artwork by doodlefox2, who's work is linked here:
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CJRASFCp1Ys/?igshid=1de2lukarh1gu
> 
> Seriously, go check it out!!

Looking at the sky had always brought some kind of comfort for Catra.

After a lecture with Shadow Weaver was usually when it helped the most. Those were the times when she needed to escape for a little while; to get away from the shared barracks, training, the crushing expectations. When she needed to get away from everyone. So she went to the top of the wreckage in the outskirts, where there was a porch-like area that was a nice escape. Where she could watch the large red sun set over the woods that she often thought she would never see. In an area that was definitely deemed unsafe by anyone outside the Horde.

There were loose screws that stuck out, ones that made the structure as unstable as the rest of it. Broken metal that could cut someone if they weren't careful. Not to mention that it was high up, and part of the Fright Zone's outskirts. So, it wasn't safe for a fully grown adult, let alone the two young children who had found the place.

Although it was dangerous, though they could get into serious trouble for even being out of their building, it had become a special place. One of sentimental value. It was her and Adora’s secret place, somewhere Lonnie and Rogelio and Kyle didn’t know about. Somewhere they had been so sure that Shadow Weaver or the other Cadets or even Hordak himself could find them. Somewhere she and Adora went to talk about the future together -- Whatever that had meant at the time. And when they felt they were being too loud for the barracks, during one of their "sleepovers", this was where they would talk go. Here, they would talk and giggle, and stay up all night, and just whisper about… Whatever.

They would talk about anything. Everything. Their secrets. Their fears. Their hopes and their dreams, and what they would do in the future, when they were ruling over Etheria together. People they didn’t like, and people they did. They told each other things that nobody else knew about them. Shared secrets and joked around in a way that Shadow Weaver would hate -- because when else would they, growing up in the Horde? The two of them had conversations that had long since been forgotten as she had gotten older. Little “what ifs”, theorizing what their future would be like, and other silly things that wouldn’t mean anything in the long run. And though she couldn’t remember the conversations they had exactly, she could remember each and every second of those nights. How could she forget the way Adora looked at her? Like she was the best person in the whole world -- like she could never do any wrong. The way she smiled anytime the topic ever turned to their future together. It had gone over a simple journey over the years, from wanting to be rulers of Etheria together, to wanting to be together forever, by each other’s sides. To… Something else entirely. And while the Horde had no concept of marriage, that was exactly what she envisioned every time.

And she _ knew _ that Adora had felt it, too.

Being there in that place, having those nights when they would just laugh and talk and relax-- or whatever Adora’s equivalent was -- had been important. They had been their reassurance that the world was bigger than what they saw in the Fright Zone. That there was more to Etheria than the endless, tiresome training that they endured day after day. Climbing up there had been a thing they had done since they were children, and it was somewhat... Intimate, in a way, where they were safe under the dark cloak of nightfall. It was their special place to get fresh air and take a breather and let everything melt away. To look up at the empty sky. To talk about whatever they wanted as if they couldn't be touched by the consequences.

There was one specific memory Catra had always looked back on when she thought of the place. One that her view of had been changing ever since Adora had defected. The spot that had once been special now echoed the memories that she was trying so hard to forget. It screamed them out in an attempt to get her to remember, but all Catra could do was hide from them. Try to block out those memories from the time that she had been happy. From a time when she had been safe.

And though she hated the memory more than anything, could only look back at it bitterly, there was something about it was also sweet. Something she wanted to cherish for the rest of her life.

She wasn't sure exactly why this was the memory that came to mind every time. Looking back, it was just a time of change. When her view had differed for... Some reason she didn't quite know.

Though Catra had only been around sixteen when it had happened, she could still remember the way the hot wind felt on her face. Could still remember that her tears burned hotter on her face, burning more than the hot red sun ever could, even in the midst of summer. Over time, she couldn't even remember why she had been up there. Perhaps she had just gotten a lecture from Shadow Weaver about how she needed to be better. About how she needed to be on time more often. About how she wasn’t as good as Adora and never would be. About how she was the worst cadet that she had ever had. And, though Catra had no feeling whatsoever for the woman (other than searing hatred), somehow, it still hurt. It still had her chest hurting, and feeling hollow, the numb feeling of anger and sadness ringing throughout her body. Even though she knew she was good -- better than any other cadet, minus Adora-- It still made her feel inadequate.

There had been a clatter behind her, of a hook latching onto the safety bar. It cut through the silence of the air and pierced the violent storm that made up Catra’s thoughts.

“Catra?” That all-too-familiar voice called. She didn’t turn around. She didn’t even look, because Catra knew who it was. Who else would even bother to check up on her? Who else even _cared?_ Nobody but Adora, obviously. “Oh, thank goodness. I thought you would be up here.”

It was like a secret language between the two of them sometimes. One that the two of them didn’t need to think about to translate. It was like an intricate dance, easily maneuvering around each other. Together, they avoided the connotations that the things they said meant, and came together in a mutual understanding nobody else would understand. At least, for Catra, it was like that. Adora had always had the natural ability to say whatever was on her mind without fail. And yet… She still understood her, like she was meant to. Like she was the only person in the world who could.

When she got in a fight, Adora was the only one who could understand why. The only one who could talk to her. The only one who could get her side of the story without being met with a scratch (and even then, it was only a fifty-fifty chance). Adora had always understood what she meant, even if it was the total opposite. And though the blonde could always say what was on her mind, she could still talk to Catra and get through to her.

“Go away.”

So, maybe that was why the blonde only heard, _St_ _ay._

Either because she understood or because she was just as stubborn as ever, Adora settled next to her, rather than leaving. Recklessly, the blonde let her legs dangle over the side rather than curling them up. Without even having to look, Catra already knew what Adora's face looked like. It was that concerned expression, the one that was trying desperately to be a reassuring smile. But it was the one that failed in looking like anything other than worry.

There was a feeling of a hand wrapping around her shoulders, in the way that nobody else had ever been able to do without getting scratched. The familiar feeling of Adora’s presence had her relaxing immediately into her hold. Her head rested against the blonde’s shoulder wordlessly, in that same mutual understanding that came with her telling the girl to go away.

As always, it was Adora who broke the silence first, her tone soft. But instead of asking her if she was okay, there was nothing but their gentle promise coming off her lips. “I’m always here, you know." She said, looking over to Catra.

Her mismatched eyes fluttered open to look up at the girl, but she was focused on something else in the distance. She looked back down to Catra, that same dumb smile on her face. "I look out for you, you look out for me, remember?”

Catra rolled her eyes, and let out a tearful, but genuine laugh. "How could I forget when your dumb ass drilled it in my head?"

As much of a strange place as it was, that was where things started to change for Catra. It was something she knew wasn't one-sided, based on the way that the other was looking at her.

(Years later, Catra looked back on this and realized what it had been. But in that moment, all she had thought about was how soft Adora’s lips looked. About her head on her shoulder. About how lucky she was to have her.)

Adora let out a laugh this time, giving the other girl a gentle nudge, but her arm didn't dare move from around her shoulders. "Oh, shut up! You know you like me."

"I do  _ not _ like you!"

There was a shared moment of laughter that would echo in Catra's head over and over as she looked back on this. A moment where they were truly at peace with each other.

Her voice softened then, and as did her expression. As the other often did, her lips found Catra's forehead in a small kiss, something that had helped over the years. "I promise, okay?" She whispered. We've got each other, forever and always."

There it was again. Their little secret language.

_ I love you. _

Catra’s voice was just as soft, though it was spoken with a small purr. "... Promise. Forever and always."

_ I love you too. _

It had been a place of joy, once.

But over the years, it’d become one of pain. Of loneliness. Of hurt. Of echoed memories that rung in Catra’s ears every time she had gone up there, taunts that Adora was no longer there. That she didn’t want to be. That Catra wasn’t enough, that she had done something wrong to make her leave.

It was the place she went to hold onto that last piece of Adora. The last good memories of her. It was the place she went when she needed to get away still, but it now served another purpose, too.

It was the place she went to cry.

It was terrible. Losing Adora had been the hardest thing she had ever had to go through. Sleeping in the barracks was lonely and cold. There was no more Adora there to hold her. No more Adora to wake her from a nightmare and tell her that things were okay. No more whispered secrets and silly lullabies that helped her sleep (and got complaints from Lonnie).

Though their beds were meant only for one person (and was barely big enough for that), it felt too big. It felt empty. Catra hadn't slept in her assigned bed for years, and after Adora left, she didn't start. Of course not. It was a poor decision on her part.

It was worse when she had been promoted in Adora's place, and got a larger bed, and a private room. If the small bed was too big and cold, then this one definitely was. Most nights, Catra couldn't help but stay awake until the early hours of the morning, wondering about what it would be like had Adora stayed. Wondering if she would be in here at all without Adora. Wondering if they would cuddle up next to each other again, if they would decorate the walls in their childish drawings or if they would sing silly lullabies until lights out.

She wondered if she would be  _ happier _ , had Adora not left her behind.

But when being in that room was too much, when it was too quiet and too lonely, she would return to their special spot. She would recall the memory again and again, and then several others from over the last ten or so years. Memories from Sometimes, when she was there, she thought that if she turned around quickly enough, there would be Adora, climbing up to their spot to hold her. To hold her and kiss her forehead. To tell her that things would be okay.

To promise that she would be there,  _ forever and always. _

But instead, the dark, empty sky had been her only solace.

. . .

As the upbeat music from Sparkles’ engagement party played behind her, inside the large ballroom, Catra couldn’t help but find the same comfort in the sky again. Instead of the crushing loneliness that had once plagued her mind, it was that same fullness in her heart she had felt all those years ago. It was almost overwhelming, the way things had been changing over the last couple of years. But even with all the terrifying realizations, the confusing feelings, and the war, Catra wouldn’t have changed a single thing.

_ Why would she? _

She was back with Adora. She was back on the same side as her, and there was no war to be worrying about. She was safe, and cared about, and it was  _ amazing, _ in every single way.

Glimmer and Bow were getting  _ married _ . Sea Hawk and Mermista were working things out. Scorpia had taken to getting the Fright Zone together, and Huntarta was around sometimes, and so was Perfuma... And Entrapta was... Entrapta.

“Hey,” A soft voice greeted, filled with nothing but laughter and happiness for their friends. Which, understandable. The two of them were getting married. And that was something worth celebrating.

Instead of looking off into space, Catra turned around then, a small smile forming across her face. “Hey, Adora,” She muttered softly, taking the offered drink from her girlfriend --  _ girlfriend _ \-- before turning back to look over the stars.

It was so strange to think that she had once been among them. That they had been there this whole time, outside of the pocket dimension that they were in. It was all so strange. To think, they could have been looking at this their  _ whole lives. _

As always, it was Adora who first broke the silence, resting her glass against the balcony’s railing after taking only a small sip. The girl pointed up at the stars, like tracing over a pattern on the blankets while they cuddled. “There are so many.” she said softly, voice barely more than a whisper. If Catra didn’t have good hearing, she likely wouldn’t have heard it with the music spilling out from the open baloney doors.

“They’re…” Catra struggled to find a word. What did she call them, when she had been among them against her will? “Nice, I guess.”

Adora chuckled at that, using her free hand to wrap around her girlfriend’s waist and pull her close. “Not as nice as you.”

Catra groaned. “You’re terrible, you know,” she said, in that fond way that had 

“You know you like me,”  _ I love you _ . 

“I do not.”  _ I love you too.  _

And maybe it was because Adora understood their special little language, the one where they danced around their genuine feelings (even though it was out in the open now). Or maybe it was because she was an absolute idiot. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because they had been saying it for  _ years _ . But the next time Adora spoke, it was a soft, “Forever and always.”

And without a second thought, Catra repeated it back to her, because now that they were both here, living in Brightmoon, that was more attainable than ever.

“Forever and always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all had a wonderful day ^^ 
> 
> Here are my other socials: https://spooky-ghost-giraffe.carrd.co/


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